Children are most afraid of hearing what their parents say is the children of other families. When their parents compare themselves with others, the children are always dissatisfied and want to refute it.
Parents disagree, thinking that only through this comparison can The child is constantly improving and working hard, but such an approach is a great harm to the child.
Why do parents never see the talents of their children? There are three reasons:
1 Don’t know all about your child
Many parents just take care of their children carefully in their lives, but it is difficult to take care of their children’s psychological aspects. If you understand enough, naturally you can’t see your child’s strengths.
More often, parents only care about their children’s achievements and are completely ignorant of their children’s other abilities, and naturally they cannot see their children’s talents.
2 Misunderstanding the child’s ability
Many parents’ ability to their children lies in their children’s grades, and they don’t care about their children’s other abilities. It’s the parents’ misunderstanding of their children’s concepts that make them unable to see their children.Child's talent.
Children’s abilities are not just academic performance, but also interpersonal communication, dancing, singing, etc., but parents only care about the children’s learning at this stage, and have not seen the other advantages of the child. Too much attention to the children's achievements has caused the parents' hearts to become very small. They can only pretend the children's achievements and cannot see the larger world.
3 Not adopting a comprehensive development perspective to treat children’s abilities
Many parents always take a one-sided, static view of children's abilities, but their children's abilities are not static, nor are their children's potentials static.
As the years grow, children will gradually mature and grow up, and will slowly learnMany things, their mind, intelligence, and ability will grow with it. However, many parents fail to see this, which leads to their inability to see the abilities of their children and one-sidedly and subjectively believe that their children are inferior to other children.
In fact, it is not difficult for parents to discover their children’s abilities , As long as you get along with and communicate with your children more in your life, you will be able to understand your children's inner abilities.
Parents can start from these two aspects to be good at discovering their children’s abilities:
Observe them more
Children’s abilities are inherent, so parents’ observation of their children’s abilities is not something that can be done overnight. Therefore, parents should get along with their children more in life and observe children through their eyes For the things you love, listen to your child’s inner voice through your ears, so that you can constantly discover your child’s inner potential.
Compare it in many ways
The way parents observe their children can also be found by comparison, but this comparison requires parents to compare themselves , To avoid hurting the child’s heart. Parents can compare the child’s yesterday with today, or compare the child’s with peers.By comparison, you can discover the advantages of the child, and even discover the deficiencies of the child.
Parents should fully understand their children and be good at discovering their children's abilities and deficiencies. But for children, it is more important for parents to inspire their children so that they can grow and achieve success in life.
Parents can start from the following four points:
Don't stimulate children often
Many parents want to make their children work harder and study harder. They want to compare their children with others. They feel that this can stimulate their children and make them study harder. But this approachNot only does it cause serious harm to the child, but it also makes the child feel disgusted with learning.
Don’t control your children frequently
In order to make their children successful, many parents will arrange their children's future life early and let the children do things according to their own ideas. But such an approach will make the child bored and want freedom. Over time, children are prone to rebelliousness, and wanting to escape the control of their parents does not provide a good motivation for children.
Don’t pay too much attention to the success or failure of children
Many parents will pay much attention to the success of their children, but this will only increase the pressure for the children, not only can not stimulate the children, nor can they cultivate their abilities As a parent, you should treat your children warmly and let them feel love and safety, so as to help them develop their own abilities.
Develop a child’s hardworking character
Although talent is innate, if there is no acquired effort, the talent cannot Get a good performance. For example, Zhong Yong was very smart when he was a child, but because he did not conduct a good education on the child later, the child’s talent was not obtained.To exercise, and later became an ordinary person.
So parents should teach their children to learn to work hard, to change themselves through hard work, so that their talents can be used to the best.
Parents should not only be good at observing and discovering their children’s talents, It is more necessary to help children develop their talents through incentives. The presence or absence of talents does not determine the life of a child. Parents should learn to treat the child with a developmental perspective as the child grows up, and do not completely deny the child because of the child's temporary stupidity.