A well-known Japanese entrepreneur, Konosuke Matsushita, said: "Trust is both an invisible force and an invisible wealth." The most indispensable thing between people is trust, which is the bond that connects two people. If the couple lacks trust, the family will be full of suspicion and quarrels. If the partners lack trust, a group of people will eventually become separated brothers. If the parent and child lose the trust, the father, mother and child will establish a relationship forever The wall, a high wall that cuts off blood and affection.
For children, the trust of parents is the source of their strength and courage. For parents, the trust of children is the greatest recognition and comfort to them. If a child can't even believe his parents, it is undoubtedly a kind of sorrow. Protecting the child's trust is the duty of parents and a prerequisite for education.
I have a good friend who has known each other for more than 20 years. I rarely hear her mention her family affairs. Until this time, she cried more than her husband called me and hoped I could Unlock her. Because she fulfilled her promise to her son: as long as the exam is completed, she will buy a set of Lego models. This time her son took the first place in the whole year. She immediately went to the store to buy a set of Lego models and moved back home. As soon as I went home and saw her, she hugged her mother and said, "Mom, you are the person I trust the most in this world." That is to say, this sentence struck her heart softly, and she couldn't stop crying.
She was born in a patriarchal family. She has a elder sister and a younger brother. The family conditions are poor and there is no way to provide for three children to study at the same time. So her parents said that whoever of the two elder sisters does well will be accompanied The younger brother was studying, she was also the first in grade that year, and her sister's grade was about 100 in grade, and her grade itself was the best among the three siblings. But the parents still broke their promises. She dropped out of school and worked to earn money to support the family. Her sister was their first child and her younger brother was their favorite child. This turned out to be a foregone conclusion.
Later, the family squeezed out all the savings she had saved from her part-time job and repaired the house for her younger brother. Her mother lied to her to get sick. When she panicked and sent the money, she realized that the money had been given to her younger brother and married a wife. Added a dowry to my sister. Her heart was dead, and she had been disconnected from her family for almost ten years. Later, when her mother was really ill, she did not go back, and when her mother died, she only went to the entrance of the village or left.
Some people from the same village said that her mother had been at the entrance of the village two or three years before she left and was looking forward to her coming back. There were rumors in the village about her cold-blooded animals, and she kept silent. Until now, after she became a mother, she discovered that the children's love and trust in their parents all come from their parents' love and trust in themselves, which has always been mutual.
Parents’ trust is the child’s courage to face the world
1. Children are pushed far away by their parents.
There are many parents who say that the more they grow up, the more they are different from themselves. Being close, the parent-child relationship is always full of embarrassment and alienation. In some cases, children still love their parents, but because they have a sense of privacy and sexuality when they grow up, they are shy or difficult to do intimate actions such as hugging and hugging with their parents.
And there are situations where children are unwilling to be close to their parents. They do not recognize or even dislike what their parents do. They want to escape from their parents. For example, they have lost their parents’ deception. Trust, they are children pushed far away by their parents. The parents’ dishonesty has caused a great shadow and harm to their psychology. They are unwilling to believe and listen to any words of their parents, because they know that their parents’ promises are too light and they have become deceitful and betrayal. synonym.
2. What parents believe is the greatest protection for their children
Parents bring their children into the world, they are the only support for their children in this world, and parents are responsible Obligation to protect the child's physiology and psychology. Parents’ faith is the protection of the child’s most innocent world, the protection of the pure land of the child’s soul, and one of the important manifestations of loving children. When children grow up, they will meet their partners and have children of their own, but as long as their parents are still there, they can always be called children. When children grow up, they will inevitably encounter other people’s deception. After being deceived, they will learn and mature, but the deceiver must not be his ownparents. For children, the failure of parents to believe is undoubtedly the collapse of the world. Society is complicated, but parental trust should be pure.
When we were in elementary school, we learned the text of Zeng Zi Killing. Zeng Zi, a famous student of Confucius, paid great attention to keeping promises in the education of children. Zeng Zi's wife was going to the market, and the children were crying and going to follow. She couldn't resist the noise of many children and promised that the children would kill pigs at night as long as they were obedient.
The daughter-in-law was just to coax the children, but Zeng Zi really killed the children the night after she knew it. His wife said that she was just cheating the children, but Zeng Zi knew that the last thing parents should cheat was the children. fool. That night, the children ate very fragrantly, and this childhood memory is destined to be imprinted in their minds. Children also have memories when they are young. Parents must not write "bad checks" to their children at will.
Be a parent worthy of the trust of your child
It is difficult to get the trust of outsiders, but it is easy to get the trust of your own children.
1. Believe in their children
Trust is two-way. If you want to be a parent worthy of being trusted by your children, parents must first trust their children. Children’s confidence in entering the world and seeing the world comes from their parents. Parents are the support behind them, their own reinforcements, and their last haven. Children will eventually grow up and go far away. Parents should rest assured that they can see the world and believe in their ability to be independent, instead of doing everything for them like cultivating "giant babies." If a child has a sense of security and courage, the parents should be happy. The child knows that his parents can help himself, so he dares to fight hard.
2. Be able to act with integrity
If you want to gain the respect of others, you must first be respectable. If you want to gain the trust of your children, you must first be honest. The best honesty education for children is to lead by example, do every honest behavior by yourself, and do not violate your beliefs or betray your beliefs. The promise to the child must be fulfilled, and no promises are made. Children have their own memories. If parents do not keep their promises, they will remember them for a lifetime.
Franklin said: "If you stumble, you can immediately regain your standing; if you lose your faith, you may never be able to recover." If you want your child to be obedient, first you have to be able to listen to your words, but the authority of the parents is not. It comes from violence, it comes from the observance of this word and deed. The prerequisite for educating children is to be able to gain the trust and respect of the children.