Nanjing lost contact girl was deceived to Yunnan and killed. This is a shocking thing, but the education problem hidden behind the incident is very serious.
The appearance of children is the reflection of the original family. Adults have a certain degree of self-control and self-repair ability, but the children show only impulse.
Therefore, when choosing friends, girls must understand the real situation of their native families and don't be confused by the gorgeous appearance.
1. Parents’ words and deeds will influence children’s behavior.
Some families seem to be beautiful, but in fact they hide irreconcilable contradictions.
A young mother, with a sixth-grade daughter and a three-year-old son, plays in the community every day. Her daughter is beautiful, quiet and well-behaved. She is a celebrity in the school. She participates in all activities. She is pretty cute. The son is lively and lovely, his big eyes are turning round and round, and his mind is full of weird thoughts.
Bao Mom is full-time with children, has a house and a car, looks beautiful and can also dress up, which is the envy of countless people. But she complained to her friend: "The two children started fighting when they got together in bed. The room was full of quarrels. It's really annoying."
This is puzzling, the age of the two children The difference is 9 years old, the older sister usually let the younger brother, how can they fight? And my sister looks so quiet.
Bao Ma also said helplessly: "They did not agree with each other, and never gave up. I had to take my little son out to play and let my daughter stay at home."
Speaking of my daughter, She also sighed, telling her that her daughter was disobedient, let her take out the trash, and she had to push it until the evening; let her review by herself, she would play on the phone; let her do housework, she couldn’t even wash a bowl... Bao Ma couldn't stand it, so she slapped her over.
The last sentence reveals the reason why children often fight. A mother will slap punishment because the child does not do things according to her own wishes, so the child in front of her becomes accustomed to solving problems with the slap over time. This is the harm caused by the native family, and the child will inflict this kind of harm on others.
Therefore, when a girl chooses a friend, she must listen to how her boyfriend's parents educate the child. You can see the hidden behavior of the boy about those "childcare stories in childhood".
The education that a person receives from an early age is subtle. Facing the person you like, you can hide it for a while, but it is impossible to hide it for a lifetime. Therefore, knowing the truth can prevent accidents and stop losses in time.
2. Parents’ thoughts will affect children.
Parents are the children’s first teachers. When children make mistakes, many parents are looking for external reasons, but this often shows that people have a subconscious mind to shirk responsibility in the face of mistakes.
For example, if a child lied, it might be because the parents were too strict and used violence to solve the problem without hearing the child’s explanation. Therefore, if a child makes a mistake, he will cover it up with a lie and avoid punishment.
How will he treat his children when he grows up? He may have hated the way his parents educate and vowed to treat his children kindly. As a result, he is very fond of his children, and he will not take it seriously if he makes a small mistake. If he makes a big mistake, he will still use the parental education method.
This is the influence of the original family, it will be deeply rooted and buried in the heart of the child.
Once, I overheard a 7-year-old sister scolding a 3-year-old sister. She said: "Can you speak human words? Your eyes are in your trouser pockets, and everything goes wrong."
These mature curses must have come out of the mouths of people around her, so she can learn them by ears and eyes, and she can teach her younger sisters at her fingertips.
Therefore, if there are cursing parents, there will be cursing children, who can’t solve problems peacefully, but will hurt others with bad words.
Understand what parents say and do, You can know the child's performance. Frozen three feet is not a day's cold. Many people in the original family want to escape. Even if they escape the body, they cannot escape the mind.
3. Parents’ interpersonal communication will affect children.
Parents are sociable and like to socialize with others, children will also make many friends and are willing to be close to others. On the contrary, parents like to be alone, stay alone in silence and do what they like, and their children will become like parents.
When the famous scholar Qian Zhongshu was educating his daughter, he gave the child a pile of books and accompanies the child to read every day. Over time, the child and the book are company, and even the toys are saved.
Later, the parents read and the children read, everyone is quiet. They are scholars, and the people they associate with are extremely bookish. Their daughters are also affected. They teach at Peking University and they are all literati from Peking University.
If you want to know a person, you can see how that person treats his friends around him, the relationship between him and his parents, and the status of his original family.
Associating with people means dealing with the concentrated body of a family. Girls who marry must pay attention to these details, including their family history and genetic diseases. These are the key factors that affect the happiness of life.