You look like you're trying to be in a group, you're very lonely
A few days ago, I discussed the topic of introversion with a friend. My friend said that introversion is not that you don’t like talking, but there are some questions and some topics are too lazy to answer.
As far as I know, apart from not talking, some introverts are shy or inferior.
Can introverts become extroverts? Can they be in groups?
I participated in several communities in the first half of the year , You can always find several people in the group who are particularly active and extremely altruistic. They are present almost all the time. They sign up as soon as they have activities, and they are the first to help if there are tasks.
Giving people a positive, helpful, humorous and outgoing image. A manager who studies psychology has talked with him once, crying silly, and telling his past experiences and current mentality. Du He PanOut.
It turns out that he is a very introverted person. He wants to change himself, break through himself, and force himself to be active, positive and optimistic. He is still relatively closed in his heart and is not willing to show his true side.
Some people say, people, the more they are lacking, the more they will show them, and in the community is different from in person. People who are active online may be quiet and don’t like them offline. speak.
The more lively and enthusiastic people are, the more insecure you are. The more you behave, the way you want to be. The more you behave, the less you are What.
When I went to work in the first company, my colleagues there were strangers, and they smiled politely at the beginning Signed, I didn't like to talk, and didn't know how to strike up a conversation.
Usually one person finishes the work silently, and then goes to dinner silently after get off work.
One time, a few colleagues asked me to eat together, thinking that it would be impossible to refuse others at noon, so they went to find a restaurant outside to eat together.
Before I was used to being a person who didn’t like to talk and liked to eat quietly by myself. Suddenly a few colleagues came here and they were very awkward to talk. They kept talking, and sometimes For questions, I try to answer them without a sentence.
I want to make myself look so special. I try to ask myself some questions so that I can participate in it, but no matter how hard I try, it seems that I can’t participate.
In my heart, I really don’t like this atmosphere, and I don’t feel comfortable eating. They are talkative and seem out of place, as if they shouldn’t be there.
On weekends, friends often ask a few friends to go out to eat and sing together. They are struggling inside. When staying at home, if you want to go out to play, you should go out and move around. Walking around, when someone actually asked you to go out, I thought about whether or not to go. After all, it didn't make much sense to go.
Because when I go out with my friends, I just eat, sing and sing. I don’t have a role there. One is that I don’t live up the atmosphere, and the other is that I can’t sing nicely. In ktv, I was the one playing with mobile phones in the corner.
After one night, I didn't say a few words to everyone, as if the happiness is theirs, I have nothing.
Although I really want to show myself, I want to communicate with them more, but after many attempts, I will make jokes, like a clown.
Once, in order to meet some new friends, I deliberately bought tickets for the electronic syllables. I have never participated before. I bought tickets because I felt that my life was too monotonous. I want to meet some friends in this way.
Because after buying a ticket, there will be friends who want to play together in a team. There will be a lot of people. From eating together, to dancing together, this process will try to get oneself involved.
Try to communicate more with them, try to add WeChat proactively, try to drink together and scream together while dancing.
At the beginning, I will seem very deliberate. After a while, I won’t be so embarrassed. Maybe practice makes perfect. It was fine when I was playing. I just came home and I was left alone.
At this time, various images that I have deliberately integrated into my mind will appear, as if this is not the real me.How can you behave like this?
Temporary carnival allows you to temporarily blend in. When you return to your own life, you are still the same you, you are still alone, and then you will appear to be yourself More lonely.
"As soon as a person enters a group, IQ is severely reduced. In order to gain recognition, individuals are willing to abandon right and wrong and exchange IQ for a sense of belonging that makes people feel safe. ”--The crowd of mobs