Text| Xing Yunjie (senior maternal and child nurse, owns the copyright of this article, welcome to share)
Nowadays, Chinese society has entered the "421" or The "422" family model means that there are two elderly people, a couple, plus one or two children. According to common sense, the children of this era say they are like pearls in their palms. Especially when the elderly treat their children, they are completely afraid of turning them in their mouths and holding them in the palms of their hands. But is this the case?
The child’s attitude towards grandma and grandma is very different. After knowing that she really wanted to, her grandma was silent
After Cici married her husband, she did not want to live with her mother-in-law, so as not to A bad temper angers her mother-in-law, which inspires conflicts between her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
So after the young couple got married, they moved in togetherThe house, because the in-laws are still young, so going to the in-laws’ house is like going back to the natal’s house. There is nothing special and will not go home. This way of getting along was not broken until Cici gave birth to a baby.
Why did the mother-in-law also take care of her confinement? , The daughter-in-law was so kind, but she agreed, but during this period, the thing that Cici was most uncomfortable with her mother-in-law was that she never gave herWhat is delicious, I can't wait to make it known to the whole world, for example, if you have a pot of chicken soup, she will definitely take a video report with Cici's mother, for fear that others will not know. Anyway, because of this, Cici was really upset during her confinement period, but she couldn't figure it out, just thinking in her heart is it normal to eat these during confinement?
I thought it would be better if I was out of confinement, but I didn't expect it to be even more sad.
After the confinement, Xiqian’s mother came to see her daughter and her little niece every three to five, and from time to time she brought some delicious food and bought some fun for the children, even though it was a 40-minute drive away , But ran happily.
And grandma, the most is to take a video, she said that she thinks about her children, but rarely visits her granddaughter, she is immersed in the square dance, the tour group can not extricate herself. Sometimes when I pick up the video, I feel that my child doesn't care about me, so I will come over immediately.
Sure enough,When the child is about 2 years old, the effect comes out.
The child is so happy to see his grandmother as if he is only fluttering with small wings The little bird was so far away that she couldn't wait to lie in her grandma's arms, and seeing her grandma, it seemed like she didn't know each other. Grandma wanted to hug her, but she struggled to escape. Sometimes, when the father wants to take the child back to grandma’s house, the child just keeps crying and expresses that he does not want to go.I asked my father why he didn't go to grandma's house.
For this reason, Cici’s mother-in-law often complained in front of her son. She felt that Cici deliberately prevented her granddaughter from getting close to her. She even ignored her daughter-in-law for this matter. The mother-in-law had nothing to say. He said: "You always say you miss her and love her, but you always don't come to see her and play with her. Of course she doesn't like you anymore."
After knowing the truth, grandma was silent...
In life, many mothers may have encountered such old people. It seemed to touch honey, but it was difficult to implement it in action. In fact, the behavior of the grandmother in the above paragraph is to falsely hurt the child, while the behavior of the grandmother can be seen to be true to the child.
So how to judge whether the elderly love children truely or fakely?
In fact, there are formulas that apply to love, marriage, parent-child and even grandparents’ feelings for grandchildren, that is, they are reluctant to spend money for you + reluctant Willing to spend time for youTime + reluctant to educate you.
Test standard 1: Spend money for the child, not willing
Talk at any time Money hurts feelings, but in front of money, you can really measure many things, and even see many things clearly.
If a precious mother gave birth to a child, but the elderly in the family would never be willing to spend a penny to buy things for the child, even a candy, that’s almost impossible Nine does not like this child.
On the other hand, some elderly people save money on their own, but are particularly willing to spend money on their grandchildren, and they want to put all the good things in the worldThey are all given to children, so it is a blessing to have such an old man in the family, because they really love children from the bottom of their hearts.
Test Criteria 2 : Playing with your child, reluctant to give up
really love your childOld people don't want to leave their children all the time, and they can't wait for the baby to be within their sight for 24 hours. These can be expressed as when the child is very young and when someone needs to hold it, they will rush to hold the child. After the child goes to school, he will always miss the child very much. From time to time, he will go to the child’s kindergarten to take a look at the child’s dynamics.
And those old people who falsely hurt their children often think about their children, but they don’t take any action. Usually they should dance and dance, and they should play cards and cards. , I usually travel, but I just can’t squeeze a little time to get along with the children. What's more, when Bao Ma is busy and needs their help, they will shirk in every way. The real reason is that it is troublesome to bring a baby and pretend to love the child.
Inspection standard 3: Educate children, give up Reluctant
Many old people are willing to spend money and time for their children, but they just don’t educate their children. There are actually two reasons for this. One is to spoil the children. Reluctant to educate,In fact, this invisibly harms the children and cannot be called true love; the second is that it just mechanically completes the mandatory tasks given by the children, and does not enter the mode of walking the child.
For example, some elderly people take their children to save trouble. If they don’t cry, they can do whatever they want. As long as they don’t make a lot of noise, they coax snacks and play every day. Mobile phones, watching TV, etc., can't be regarded as a kind of self-care.
Elderly people with children may have some "unthankful" situations. As children, they should be considerate, but if it is that kind of just saying nothing, You can't hide your daily performance if you only talk about it, and you can tell at a glance. (Jpp)