Don’t underestimate, respect your children’s feelings, don’t deny them easily

2020-07-29 22:05:08 0 Comment 999 views
abstract

We often hear conversations like this in our lives: "Baby, it's cold, wear more jackets". Our parents subconsciously feel that "children’s feelings ar

  • We often hear conversations like this in our lives: "Baby, it's cold, wear more coats." "Mom, I'm not cold, I run a little hot." "Observe, really It’s getting cold, and if you wear less clothes, you will catch a cold." "I'm not cold, I'm hot"! "Tell you it's cold, why don't you believe it? This kid is really disobedient"! See the problem? Parents do not agree with the child's feelings. What are the consequences? When the child loses his temper, the parents reinforce the view that you are not obedient.
  • Our parents subconsciously feel that "children’s feelings are false or wrong" and always tell children not to believe their own feelings, and to "feel" according to the adult’s judgment... Is that still feeling? We always forget that we and our children are two independent individuals, with different perception systems, each with their own true feelings, there is no right or wrong. How does it feel to be "felt"? If you meet at work during the dayIf something goes wrong, go home and throw the bag away.

Don’t underestimate, respect your children’s feelings, don’t deny them easily

  • Just complain to your lover: "This work can’t be done, newcomer Employees can't do things, so annoying!" If your spouse advises you: "You are tired, you usually like this job"! Or tell you the big truth: "How can life go well everywhere? The unsatisfactory things in life are nine out of ten, let's look at the open point." Or make suggestions:"Ask your human resources to carefully check when recruiting people. Now that they are recruited, I have to teach them and let them adapt slowly. At the same time reflect the situation to the boss. "
  • With all these kinds of things, will you feel better after listening to it? Or will you feel irritable and mad? We just want to talk. We don’t need to listen to big ideas or suggestions. All we need is the other person’s empathy: "During this time For you, the pressure is great, the boss is demanding, and the new employees are not sensible. It is very uncomfortable for you to be caught in the middle. "Similarly, when children’s feelings are constantly denied, they will feel confused and angry. Many parents are used to denying their children’s feelings and are eager to reason with them.

Don’t underestimate, respect your children’s feelings, don’t deny them easily

  • But, be a child In strong emotions, they can’t listen to anyone, and won’t accept any opinions or criticisms... In fact, we adults are the same. When children are depressed, disappointed, angry, or sad, we hope that parents can understand their thoughts. At this time, parents shouldn’t accuse or rush to make comments, and don’t have to ask for more details. Why is it so “effective” to respect the child’s feelings? Because when the child’s emotions are intense, if the person listening to them accepts their ideas.
  • and express sympathy and understanding, then their negative emotions will be weakened. If the child’s feelings are not accepted, the negativeEmotions cannot be resolved, but may behave badly. To respect the children's feelings, we must first stand in the children's position and understand them. When a child speaks angry and disappointing words, suppose you are the child who feels sleepy or doesn't like the teacher. Naturally, he hopes the person who talks to understand your feelings. When parents try to understand how their child feels.

Don’t underestimate, respect your children’s feelings, don’t deny them easily

  • The way you speak will be naturalBut the change: "Although you just got up not long, but you are sleepy again." Or: "I feel cold, but you think it is very hot here." If we can listen to the child and empathize with him, it will help the child solve the problem by himself, and the child's feelings need to be accepted and respected. The following methods can make children feel that their feelings are respected. First, parents listen quietly and attentively. When the child speaks to his parents, the parents should stop what they are doing and turn to him.
  • Keep eye contact and listen carefully. Just listen, don't rush to judge. Second, respond with simple words, such as "oh... uh... so it is..." to show the child that the parents are listening to him. Finally, sum up their words and express their feelings. It is very important to tell the child’s inner feelings. Once the child knows what feelings they are experiencing, they can start to help themselves. Respect your child and keep calm when speaking, And speak slowly.

Don’t underestimate, respect your children’s feelings, don’t deny them easily

  • If the guess is wrong, the child will correct the parent. After trying this for a period of time, parents will find that the child’s negative feelings are not "a scourge" and most of the child’s feelings are acceptable. Moreover, if children know that we respect their feelings, they will be "obedient"!

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