I believe that every parent hopes that their children will become dragons, and their daughters will become phoenixes. The daily hard work and careful care are all for their children to have a better future.
However, sometimes a parent’s inadvertent word may ruin the child’s bright future!
"The depth of love, the utmost responsibility", even though it is based on the attitude of loving children, But once the parents say something, it will still be like a sharp knife, deeply hurting the child.
Here are ten sentences that hurt children the most. Parents must take a closer look:
Ten words that hurt children the most
1. Why are you so stupid!
When others say you are stupid , What is it like?
Loss, embarrassment, anger... These will not diminish in children, but will only enlarge. The child's ability to bear and judge is not perfect, and it is easy to be affected by the words of others.
Have more patience and confidence in your child, you can replace it with: WrongIt doesn't matter, you will succeed if you try a few more times; it is not easy to do this!
2. Why cry, you still have the face to cry ?
Some parents get upset and stop immediately when they hear their children cry In particular, some boys’ parents believe that the boy’s crying lacks masculinity, so they are resolutely not allowed to cry, and even tell them that crying is shameful.
When a child is wronged, cryIt can alleviate emotions. The child is young and does not know how to regulate emotions. If you want to cry, let him cry.
Parents can wait patiently for the child to finish crying before reasoning with him, please be careful not to talk about the child’s crying, because at this time the child cannot listen;
Don’t compromise to prevent your child from crying. This will allow the child to use crying as a killer to achieve his goals.
3. I will never believe it again You are here
Whose child has not After telling a few little lies, my parents discovered that how to deal with it is the key! They all know that lying is not a good thing, but beating a child will only make him afraid to tell the truth.
If parents don’t trust their children, the child will be very hurt, even the closest parents don’t believe him, who else believes it? The child will be more introverted and sensitive and insecure.
can be replaced with: Can you tell mom (daddy) the true thoughts? I will understand you.
4. You are too disappointed, I am very disappointed in you
Parents always have great expectations of their children. Such expectations are imposed on their children and become pressure. It also leads to the greater the parents’ expectations and the greater the disappointment.
If parents often say this sentence, their children will become increasingly distrustful of themselves, lose self-confidence, feel that they are "stupid", do nothing well, and have grades It’s getting worse and worse.
It can be replaced by: It’s okay for a small exam, let’s see where the problem is, and don’t make similar mistakes next time. OK?
5. If I say no, I just can’t
When you say this to your child, the child will not "refute" it in all likelihood, but this does not mean that the child is convinced. The temporary silence will be accumulated again and again, but will be in the child’s heart. Plant the seeds of more rebellion.
Fear does not mean conviction, and oral administration does not mean convincing. Parents’ prestige should not be used to force children to submit.
respect children’sChoose, and discuss with your children when you encounter differences, instead of simply "a word".
6. Look at others XXX
The children of other people’s families are obedient and sensible and learn well, get up early and sleep early to do housework, Reading books every day and never playing games.
Many children grow up listening to their parents talking about "children of other people". Parents always compare the advantages of other people’s children with the disadvantages of their own children. But rarely praise the advantages of his children.
Every child is not perfect, he has his own advantages and specialties.
Smart parentsBe good at discovering the children’s strengths and exploring their potential, instead of just seeing the children’s shortcomings and degrading their abilities.
7. The next time you take the test 100 points will be given to you Buy
First of all, it is not advisable to use substances to encourage children to study hard.
Because this can only arouse the child’s short-term desire to learn,It is not the inner potential learning interest and motivation, but also easy to develop a wrong view of money.
Secondly, the goal set for the child must be realistic, which can be achieved by the kind hard work.
Usually, you can only pass the test. You have to take the 100 test before you can buy it. Isn’t that embarrassing the child? In this way, the child will not have the confidence to achieve this goal.
8. You can really do it, if you are good, you don’t want to learn and you are bad
Some parents always ignore their children’s strengths, magnify their shortcomings, and their children do wrong things. Irony of children will only hurt their self-esteem more seriously, but will not help them become better.
In fact, sometimes letting go of the posture of being a parent, and communicate calmly with the child, the child is willing to talk to the parent Express your thoughts.
9. Forget it, see you in the future No promise
Parents keep sayingChildren will believe this sentence as true. Once they encounter difficulties, they will easily give up and compromise easily; after failure, they will not have the courage to start all over again, and they will not recover.
The parents’ denial and disapproval actually give the child a reason to give up.
Never say "you can't do it" to your child. Appreciation and trust are the motivation to help your child become better.
10. Even for mom, you’d better work hard What
In order for their children to study well, some parents use agitation to stimulate their children, while some parents It's a family card.
"You see that your mother works so hard for you, and she is reluctant to eat and wear. She gives you all the best. Even for your mother, study hard No?"
This sentence will indeed cause a great psychological impact on children. Some children will feel that they are a burden and cause trouble to their parents. Great psychological pressure to study.
In this way, even if he studies hard, his outlook on life values will be greatly deviated.
Some parents will say that my children don’t like to go home when they are old. Although they are never stingy with us, they do not have the tenderness between parents and children. In fact, it’s just because you accidentally hurt the children deeply!
Don’t let these knives hurt your children. Don’t tell your children these words!
3 sentences for mom and dadAdvice
1. Growth is more important than success, you can afford to lose Children are the most successful
Now parents have a strange phenomenon, what They all do it for the child, thinking that the child’s task is to study, which causes the child to know nothing but study, and become a high IQ idiot!
I’m organizing a summer camp and a very young child is watchingHe was in a daze when he was boiled eggs. After asking, he found out that the child had never seen the process of cooking and peeling eggs in his family since he was a child. They were all arranged and cut into four pieces before eating.
So don’t always presuppose the results, but pay attention to the growth process, take a good footing, and the children who can afford to lose are the most successful children!
2. Giving is more important than giving, giving children the opportunity to love youstrong>
Only give love to children, so that they will notHave a sense of responsibility and will only ask for it blindly.
A laid-off female worker knows that her child likes to eat shrimp, so she bought it from the market with her teeth. She was reluctant to move her chopsticks when she watched her eat with relish.
Seeing that the child has finished eating, the mother couldn’t help but want to have a bite, "Don’t move!" The 13-year-old said, "That’s mine."
Excessive indulgence and infinite indulgence have fostered the selfishness of the child, making the child only himself and no one else.
3. Dialogue is more effective than confrontation, don’t compete with your child
Adolescent children love to "fight against" their parents. Parents in their 40s and 50s also love to "combat" with their children. /p>
For example, when it comes to puberty love, many parents simply and rudely obstruct and suppress it.
adolescent The child is in a period when his sense of adulthood is rapidly increasing, but his mentality is immature. He hopes to be respected by adults, and he isMother lacks basic trust.
Therefore, the mentality of rebellion is very strong, and the door of the soul is only open to his peers. At this time, he especially needs spiritual care and understanding.
Stupid parents will only stare at their children’s shortcomings, complaining and criticizing them blindly, causing their children to lose confidence in themselves and become increasingly The more inferior and rebellious;
And smart parents are good at discovering the advantages of their children, and they also know that timely praise will give their children confidence and make them more confident and outstanding .
Mom and Dad, please bravely cheer for your children, please believe that your children will get better and better!