In "Youth School", what I like and admire the most is actually Pei Yin, Like a family background, he is beautiful and temperamental, plays the piano well, and can sing a soprano.
However, this is such a talented woman who has lived in a loveless marriage for fifteen years. Her husband was raising a mistress outside publicly and living with her, but she closed one eye.
Why is this?
The answer is different. Some people say it is for the children to have a home, some say it is for Qian Sanyi's grandparents, and some say it is for the sake of face.
But, these reasons can really make a woman give up her due happiness? I think it should not.
1. What will you live like for your children’s marriage?
Pei Yin has always believed that if he does not divorce, at least he can keep Qian Sanyi and let him have a family. But since childhood Qian Sany knew that they had been unhappy, and his parents were different from others.
He tried his best to take the first place, just to maintain the peace that his mother wanted. He did not have his own spare time, or even hobbies. All his time could only be studying. It was too early to understand adulthood. rule.
That’s why he envied Lin Miaomiao, who is like a bird, and thinks she lives a real lifereal.
The Austrian psychologist Freud, in his personality development theory, particularly emphasized the influence of childhood experiences on the formation of personality, and paid attention to the attitudes of parents to children, which is important for understanding personality development. Very meaningful.
A child who has lived in a depressive and restless environment in childhood, even if he has a strong sense of self-healing, there will still be untouchable wounds in his heart.
And I have been working hard all my life to hide these wounds.
The master of psychology also Jung said: The worst influence parents have on children is to make children feel that they have not lived well.
When many couples quarrel until they are about to get divorced, the most common sentence is "If it weren’t for the children, I would have divorced you!"
""For the sake of children not to divorce" seems to have become a virtue. Two people who have no feelings for a long time keep the marriage of fame and live their own lives.
But in fact, in a long-to-be-broken marriage , There is no love between the parents, and all the bets are placed on the children. How can the children be happy?
Under the cover of the nest, there will be no eggs?
In marriages where the children do not divorce, most of the parents are unhappy, and the children are not happy.
What is the point of such a marriage? It is better to dissolve as soon as possible without mutual Torture.
Second, why our marriage can’t live for ourselves?
Wang Shengnan once persuaded Pei Yin that she should start a new relationship But Pei Yin said, she is old, what kind of love does she need?
Can our marriage really only be done through, or live for a certain member of the family? Is it for ourselves?
In fact, as women, at any time, whether we are married or not, we can only rely on ourselves. Women in marriage should live for themselves, and It’s not for others to lose yourself.
Pei Yin was originally the pillar of the troupe.However, she spent all her energy and time on her son, and rarely performed again. Although this was her voluntary, she lived anxiously.
For Qian Sanyi, I collected Qian Miaomiao’s paintings and hairpins, as well as a few hairs. She found the school and started a verbal battle with Miao Miao’s mother. She did not hesitate to swear words and insult Lin Miao. Wonderful reputation.
At that time, her elegance disappeared, only anxiety and unwillingness to show weakness.
Only Qian Sany is left in her life. She takes care of everything about her son, and doesn't even give herself a chance to breathe.
If it weren't for Jiang Yuwen's appearance, Pei Yin's life would really be a stagnant pool. She couldn't see any vitality. She forced herself to the corner without any retreat.
But what is the meaning of such a life? A marriage that can’t live out of oneself is like a time bomb, which can explode at any time.A kind of self-harm.
3. Those women who live for themselves will be beautiful and happy in the end!
As women, we should understand that first you are yourself, and then whose wife, whose mother, whose daughter-in-law, whose daughter is.
If you want to win the respect and love of others, not only should you not give up on yourself, but on the contrary, you should live out yourself.
Like Pei Yin, when I met Jiang Yuwen, he not only encouraged her to respect her inner thoughts, but also encouraged her to return to the stage.
As a result, the Pei Yin, who had bid farewell to the past, not only became a shy girl who loves to laugh, but also regained her menstrual period, and she bravely accepted that she was ten years younger. Jiang Yuwen begins a new relationship.
At this time, Qian Sanyi has also become more open-minded from the child who automatically suppressed his heart, and it is easier to understand the difficulty of his mother.
Look, when you become aware of happiness and have happiness, your children will be more likely to perceive happiness.
Women who dare to live for themselves and live out themselves can be beautiful and happy.
Tagore said: If you shed tears when you lose the sun, you will also lose the stars. p>
So, sometimes giving up is also a choice. You missed the gorgeous summer flowers, and the autumn leaves are bound to usher in the quiet beauty. Just like Pei Yin, after leaving her ex-husband, he met Jiang Yuwen who understood her.
As a woman, there are certain things that you know are wrong, so you should dare to give up; some people, know that they don’t love, don’t just walk with them; sometimes, letting go is another One kind of beginning, another kind of harvest.
Fortunately, Pei Yin finally came out, and hoped that the women struggling in the marital quagmire would wake up as soon as possible and find their own tomorrow.
Picture/from the Internet