Wen|Yaya’s mother said about parenting (the article is original, the copyright belongs to the author, and you are welcome to share it)
Xiaozi’s mother is for Xiaozi’s I tried my best for my 5th birthday, but there was still an episode that triggered conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Xiao Zi’s grandmother thinks that the child is still young, and she doesn’t need to spend so much effort to hold a birthday party. This is not only a waste of money, but also without the original intention of the birthday, it’s better to sit around a table as a family. Just have a meal together and cut a cake; Xiao Zi's mother thinks that the child's childhood is quite short, so that the child can enjoy a happy childhood, and the future memories are full of good memories.
The day before Xiao Zi’s birthday, Xiao Zi’s mother planned to hold a "decent" birthday party, but found that her grandma had changed from the initial denial and refusal to silent and bored.Feeling unhappy, Xiao Zi's mother could only give up the idea. On the birthday, the family ate, cut the cake and went home. But after that, Xiao Zi's mother was unwilling to discuss all the plans with her mother-in-law, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law fell to a freezing point.
In fact, in daily life, there are always many dilemmas like this, one side is plain and the other side is vigorous, most people are definitely inclined to the latter, but there is no time, No extra money, just "think about it".
But do you know how important ceremony is to a child?
▲How important is ceremony to children?
❶What is a ritual?
The ritual does not require much material as a basis, only a small detail, such as a delicious and nutritious meal Breakfast, a bouquet of flowers on the dining table, a pair of brand new leather shoes in front of the door... a very small thing can represent our respect and love for life.
It was mentioned in the French fairy tale "The Little Prince": The sense of ritual is to make a certain day and otherDays are different, making one moment different from others.
In a boring and ordinary life, occasionally add some surprises and a sense of ritual to the children to feel the closeness of their parents and to increase their trust in themselves , From which you can also experience happiness.
☞childChildren are happier
Rituals can be big or small. A family has to have rituals, and there is no need for a big battle. You can start with details from a young age. For example, when the father wakes up every day, he can give his mother a kiss and occasionally send flowers to the mother. Or the family can hold a party for a certain family member, put on formal and gorgeous clothes, and go to someone’s wedding together. It is the performance of the ceremony.
Only a loving family can do such a happy thing. The children raised by such a family are usually full of positive energy, as warm as the sun.
☞Children are more educated
I believe that when you talk about Britain and France, the first thing you think of is the concept of romance and being a gentleman. The reason for this association is mostly because these two countries themselves are countries that value rituals. But itsChina and the United Kingdom are more obvious. Compared with the romantic and unrestrained French, the British are elegant and gentlemen, let alone the education they possess.
☞Children are more confident
Haruki Murakami once said: The sense of ritual is a very important thing.
Life is the same. If you live a sunny or unremarkable life, the decision is in your own hands.
For example, on a child’s birthday, some parents think that buying a cake and having a meal with the whole family counts as a birthday; some parents think that these vulgar etiquettes are too troublesome, so they never have a birthday.
But parents should know that celebration with a sense of ritual is much better than being indifferent and indifferent, because children will realize from it that they are not in their hearts. It is replaceable, and it is also one of the sources of children's self-confidence.
❷The ceremony requires a lot of money to pile up?
Many parents have misplaced the focus of the ceremony. They blindly believe that the ceremony will require a lot of money to pile up, but it’s not that simple.single.
Huang Lei once said in a program: "I want to leave more sweet and warm holidays for my children. I hope that when my children remember their childhood, In the sunny and leisurely afternoon, the whole family bake biscuits and make cakes together, and the strong fragrance of eggs and cakes fills the room. I hope that when the child grows up, whether it is painful or lonely, when he thinks of having such a sweet childhood Warm time, you will think that life is beautiful."
The ceremony can be very simple, but it looks gorgeous, but in fact it is just parents expressing love One of the ways. In view of the development of the Internet, children will always receive messages from all directions. Among them, children who lack judgment in the beautification, grandness, and magnificence of the ritual are prone to have wrong consciousness or concepts.cause problems.
▲Less the "sense of ceremony", What will happen?
There are no rituals in the family, and the children’s life is still going on as usual. Parents have also saved a lot of effort and time, but they also gradually lose a lot of happy experiences, and they may even feel that life is plain and ordinary. Those who have neverChildren who grow up in a family with a sense of ritual can easily fall into several misunderstandings after they grow up.
①I think life is boring
Because life lacks rituals, every day is just like that. I will gradually feel that life is boring, even right There is no vision or fantasy in the future, and I have lost my expectations for life.
②I feel that the family is less cohesive
I have lived in a family without ceremonies since I was young. When my children grow up, they will feel that their family is less cohesive. , I often envy other people’s living conditions and family atmosphere. Sometimes I see friends and my parents go on a short-term trip, or the whole family meets to take a family portrait and feel envied. I always feel that other people’s family relationships are so happy and harmonious. .
In contrast, your ownThe family seems to have nothing to do. It is possible to gather the whole family together and do a memorable thing together, and the children's sense of belonging to the family will gradually decrease.
③Entering occasions with a strong sense of ceremony Can you adapt
Without the sense of ritual in the family, children will be in the futureWhen you have the opportunity to enter an environment with strong rituals, you may feel uncomfortable, even nervous, and don't know what to do. For example, when attending a class reunion or a friend’s birthday party, you will always feel that you are an outsider and there is no way to integrate into group activities.
Some people think that the sense of ritual is dispensable, and even think that the ceremony is not only time-consuming, but also requires a lot of money, but does the sense of ritual really require such labor and money? In fact, if you want to create a sense of ritual, it can be seen from the details.
▲Cultivate children’s sense of ritual, no need I’ve tried my best
★Get used to saying good morning and good night with your children
Some parents think that saying good morning and good night with their children is A small matter of sesame and garlic peel, even with the mentality of "whether there is or not". But in fact, it is very important to cultivate a child's sense of ritual.
A gentle Daoan, not only It will make the children feel the care of their parents and learn how to express their emotions to their parents. The children can also gain more security and confidence from them, and they will also be more confident and more sunny on the road of future growth.
★Seriously value every day
Parents can create a comfortable and warm family atmosphere on birthdays, an important holiday, so that children can experience important family moments. They have a more sense of belonging and have a good influence on children's emotional intelligence and perceptual thinking, and children will also have a more sense of belonging.
★Pay attention to every little detail
In addition to creating a ceremony at a specific time, parents can also inadvertently create some small details filled with love, which is also a kind of cultivating a sense of ritual the process of.
For example, parents can let their children make some meaningful holiday souvenirs or cards by themselves, or they can make some cute family photo albums for their children. Although these small details may seem simple and ordinary, they are enough to impress children.
Rituals are not only the basis for cultivating children’s emotional intelligence, but also the glue for happiness and harmony in the family, enough to make the family more Condensation and reunion, do not limit the scope of the ceremony. You must know that the ceremony can not only be gorgeous, but also appear in a plain and unremarkable posture, entrusting the family's closely connected feelings.
Today’s interactive topic: you Is there a better way to cultivate a sense of ritual? Do you usually celebrate your child's birthday? Welcome to leave a message below to discuss.
In YuDuring the process, if you encounter problems that cannot be solved, you can contact me. I hope that some of my knowledge and experience can give you effective suggestions. Caring for children and paying attention to their growth are things that every parent cannot ignore.
I am Ya Ya’s mother, a mother of a 4-year-old child, sharing parenting knowledge and experience every day.
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