Wen|Xuan Ma (the original article, the copyright belongs to the author, welcome personal forwarding and sharing)
Friends think the authority of parents is very important, so when dealing with children’s education, there will be a clear tendency to establish authority. But it seems that children do not cooperate with friends' education methods. Although friends are strict, they have not achieved the desired effect. Children still have some rebellious behaviors, such as not doing homework, not sparing food, and friends who are unable to challenge their own authority. I can’t beat or scold or tolerate it. At the same time, the child deliberately distances himself from himself. Friends often lament that it is too difficult to be a good father. It not only gains the child’s respect, but also makes the child.It's hard to get close!
I believe that many parents have encountered similar situations and have a dilemma when it comes to educating their children. They both want to be a loving parent and worry about it. Children don't respect themselves enough, they want to regulate their words and deeds, but also worry that they are too strict. It can also be found that the biggest difficulty in parenting lies in the mastery of degrees.
Children’s challenge to the authority of parents seems to be a distress that every parent will encounter, whether it is the use of beating and scolding education or the gentle "being friends" education, This parenting problem may arise. Parents need to have a correct understanding of this kind of performance of their children, and find the best entry point to intervene in order to be more likely to achieve the desired effect.
1. Some common performances of children challenging their parents’ authority:
1. Refusing to follow their parents’ suggestions
For parents’ reminders and suggestions, they refuse without thinking, or find all kinds of reasons and excuses to shirk them. For parents’ suggestions, it is more resistance than cooperation. They are in a position of opposition to their parents. , There is a certain degree of rebellious behavior.
2. Dismissive of parents’ rules
will not obey and obey the rules set by parents, and tend to behave according to their own behavior. If they don’t have a correct understanding of the rules, they will try to break the rules or ignore the rules.
3. Do not cooperate with parentsCommunication
Faced with the communication between parents and oneself, they are not cooperative, and they are unwilling to tell their true thoughts with their parents. They are often perfunctory and concealed . There may even be a certain degree of lying in an attempt to cover up their own faults or mistakes.
It can be seen that children’s performance of challenging parental authority often occurs and is also common in life. Many parents will be wondering why they have such rebellious behavior when they try to get along with their children as equals.
2. Why do children dare to challenge the authority of their parents?
1. There is no principle in parental education methods, it depends on their own mood >
If the parent’s education method is very casual, the attitude is modest when the mood is good, and the attitude is irritable when the mood is bad.A principled education method is naturally difficult to get the cooperation of children. Parents educate their children based on their mood, so the children's sense of boundaries will be very blurred.
2. Parents are not firm in their rules and often compromise
Parents hope that through the behavior of establishing rules, children have the concept of behavioral restraint, but when the rules are established, they will compromise because of the children’s unreasonable troubles, and the meaning of the rules will be greatly reduced.
3. Parents have two sets of standards for themselves and their children.
Parents have strict requirements for their children, but they are more relaxed about themselves. Obviously, such an obvious double standard will not convince the children, and there will even be some doubts, and the challenge to parent authority is naturally inevitable. .
When children do not follow their own discipline or do not cooperate with their own educational methods, parents should not only blame the children for challenging their own authority, but also It is necessary to reflect, observe the child's state more, and find the defects in their own educational methods.
3. Children challenge the authority of their parents, what should parents do?
1. Reflect on whether their own educational methods are lacking
Parents just blindly educate their children in accordance with their own educational philosophy, and do not pay attention to the children’s personality characteristics, so this inappropriate education method is Malpractice. Out of the childThis subject will naturally be dissatisfied with the educational concept.
2. Communicate with your child more and understand the child’s mental state
Actively communicate with the child, listen to the child’s psychological views, and understand the child’s psychological environment, so as to better solve the child’s troubles and be closer to the true demands of the child’s heart.
3. Appropriate punishment, let children realize their mistakes
When children have behavioral deviations,This is a matter of principle. It is necessary for parents to correct them and give their children appropriate punishments so that they can realize that their own practices are problematic, strengthen the concept of wrong behaviors, and correct them.
In the relationship between parents and children, if they can respect each other, this will have a positive meaning for the Implementation is also very helpful. When children have behaviors that disrespect their parents, parents need to pay a certain amount of attention. This is not a simple childish statement.
Four. To prevent children from disrespecting their parents and parents need to pay attention to issues
1. Children get along with each other as equals, but with principles
It’s commendable for parents to get along with their children on an equal footing, but this does not mean that parents can have no principles. , For the children can only blindly tolerate and compromise. Equality is not without principles, equality isIn order to understand each other's ideas better, instead of lowering the standard requirements.
2. Do not advocate hitting and scolding education, but there are rules
Parents beating and scolding their children do not allow their children to respect their parents, but they do not respect the beating and scolding education, nor can they be completely without rules. Smart parents know how to set rules for their children and let them know what they cannot do.
3. Parents are consistent with their words and deeds, and children are more convinced
Parents’ requirements The child does what he says, so homeThe long must do the same. Only in this way can children see the positive behavioral meaning from the parents, and the children can convince the parents and then respect them.
Parent’s authority does not require children to unconditionally obey, obey, and have no ideas of their own. The true meaning of parent’s authority is to exercise certain control over children’s behavior , Let children understand the principles and bottom line of parents. When there is a wrong behavior or a certain behavior deviation, parents can be more convinced that their children are willing to reflect on their behavior because of their own authority. Of course, there is no contradiction between parental authority and equality with children. The most important part of this is the grasp of the scale, so that children have a sense of proportion and boundaries.
EveryoneWhat do you think about children who like to challenge the authority of their parents?
What are your thoughts on establishing parental authority? Please leave a comment below.
In the process of parenting, no matter what You can ask me for any questions. I hope my suggestions can help you solve the troubles and confusions in the process of bringing a baby.
I’m Xuan’s mother, a senior nursery teacher, family education instructor, and a 3-year-old baby’s mother.
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