The support of filial sons Also, be happy with one's heart, not against one's ambitions
As a child, what do you think is the best filial piety?
Many people think that it means letting their parents enjoy their old age carefree, giving them the best food and the best environment...
Many families now These material needs can be met, but the happiness index of the parents has not improved because of their emotional needs.
As children grow older,We have mastered more and more abilities, and the need for parents has become less and less.
When we are proficiently playing with the various functions of the mobile phone, parents will ask us because of some questions on the mobile phone. Sometimes our impatience will make our parents feel lonely in their hearts. And not needed.
Mister Teresa once said: "The feeling of loneliness and not being needed is the most tragic poverty."
The best way to let parents enjoy their old age. It is to make them feel "needed".
Figure | Qing Ren Bonian
Acceptance of parents’ efforts is affirmation.
People are social animals, and being recognized is one of their most basic psychological needs.
Being recognized is like a proof of one's own existence, but elderly parents gradually lose this proof.
As the age increases, the bodies of parents continue to age. They gradually return to the family from society. After returning to the family, they find that their children have grown up and they no longer need support. This will produce a kind of confusion, not knowing what to do next.
On May Day holiday, I went out to play with friends. My friend Xiao Mo was late. After he arrived, he apologized and explained.
Before he went out, he told his mother to go out to play, and he would go home later in the evening. His mother asked him if he had enough money to spend, and he said it was enough.His mother still took out the wallet and kept giving him money.
My friend expressed helplessness. He kept explaining to his mother that he had a job, had an income, and had enough money. In the end, he couldn't help his mother and went out with 200 yuan.
A few of our friends said in an enviable tone: "Your mother loves you too much too!"
After that, think about it carefully. In fact, this is just pure mother’s to us. Love? No, although we have grown up and have our own business and family, our parents still want to give us money.
Although they know we are not short of money, they insist on giving it.
Like when we were young, we would ask our parents for money before going out to play, and when we get the money, we will be very happy all day long.
When we grow up, we hope they can keep them for their own use to improve their quality of life, so we choose to reject them.
And this kind of rejection will make them sad, make them feel that they are useless and incapable of treating us well, which will make them realize that their children have grown up and no longer need themselves.
The "Book of Rites" records: "The nurturing of a filial son is to be happy and not against his ambition."
The filial piety to your parents is , To make parents feel happy from the heart, do not go against their wishes, find ways to make them happy and make them comfortable.
In the face of their kindness, we might as well accept it first, obey their wishes, recognize their contribution to us, affirm their value, and then give them another way To compensate them.
Picture| Qing Ren Bo Nian
Zhuang Zi said: "Don’t choose to do things for your family The place is safe, filial piety is also the ultimate. ”
The highest state of filial piety is to make parents feel stable and safe. As parents get older and their children grow up, they will feel powerless and fear that they will age and have Use, become a burden for children.
The best way to give parents a sense of security is to tell them through some trivial things in life that they have not become useless because of aging.
During the Spring and Autumn Period, Chu State Hermit Lao Laizi was a famous filial son. When Lao Laizi was 70 years old, he never said the word "old" in front of his parents because heIf you are afraid of saying you are old, your parents will feel that they are reminding them to be older in disguise.
In order to make his parents happy, he often dressed in floral clothes to make his parents happy like when he was a child. He also used two wooden barrels to hold some water and carried it on a pole. The lobby slipped and fell deliberately, knocked over the bucket, pretended to cry like a child, and attracted the attention of parents.
Let parents feel that he is still the same as when he was a child, and he will feel that he is also very young, and his children still need himself, so he is naturally happy and comfortable, and when he sees his son’s actions funny, he naturally laughs.
Someone asked him why he did this. He replied: "Children are always children in the eyes of their parents. As long as the children need themselves, they will have meaning and will forget themselves. At the age of, I think I have something useful."
In fact,Many parents are not afraid of physical aging. They know that it is natural, but they are afraid that their aging will bring burdens to their children and fear that they will be useless to their children and become a burden.
As the saying goes: "When people are old, the most feared thing is not to be alone, but to feel that they are useless."
The best filial piety is to make parents feel" To be needed", affirm their contribution, recognize their value, and eliminate their weakness caused by physical aging.
Of course, it is not a long-term solution for parents to devote too much attention to caring for the next generation.
As children, we, more importantly, encourage and help parents develop new interests and hobbies, divert their attention, and let them find their sense of accomplishment in other areas and find themselves the value of.
Provide parents with the best old-age care conditions, and never make them feel that their lives are valuable and meaningful.
Author: Ming heart |
Source: Xinhua News Agency, said Master (ID: sfy1927)
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