On weekends, have dinner with friends, everyone with their children. While waiting for the dishes to be served, several children became familiar with each other and began to chat and joke, making it lively. The little girl from one of my friends's was sitting next to her mother, not participating or making a sound, playing with the little doll in her hands silently.
- "Go and play with other kids."
- "Look at how lively they are!"
- "It's boring to be alone, go ahead Come on!"
- "Go ahead, it's so boring to be alone."
Several mothers persuaded the little girl to play with the children. Her mother said: Don't persuade her, she likes to play by herself. Later in the chat, her mother revealed to us that the little girl had this kind of personality since she was a child. Once she tried hard to make her social and lively, and wanted to change her, but the child was very resistant and later let it go.Abandoned. She said, Let her do it slowly, don't worry, do it the way she likes.
01 Introversion is not a defect, but a temperament Type
Seeing a little girl, it’s like seeing me when I was a child.I'm a person who doesn't talk much. I like to play alone. "Timid", "sensitive", and "unsocial" have become labels given to me by my classmates. Sometimes, when I don’t like to say hello to strangers, my mother will rush to explain: This kid is introverted. When I was a child, introversion was not a good thing in my heart, because every time my mother needed to explain to others to gain others' tolerance, I would feel inferior because of introversion.
Later, when I was in school, my grades were always leading. I was a class leader and had some good friends of my own at each stage. Later, I graduated from university and got a good job, a happy family and a lovely daughter. I also gradually realized that introversion is not a bad thing, it is not a personality defect, but sometimes it is an advantage.
The following six cartoons can tell you the thinking characteristics of introverts. (The picture comes from the Internet), we are oneGet up to understand the strengths and weaknesses of an introvert.
1. Introverted human brain neural circuits are usually longer. When they process information, they will add their own ideas.
2. Introverts have a higher arousal level than extroverts Low, so introverts are more likely to be overstimulated.
3. The brains of introverts are energy-saving brains. They can obtain satisfaction by reading, thinking, and exploring the inner world Sense and energy.
4. The brains of introverts rarely get pleasure through adventurous behavior. When they face surprises or adventures, they are not as excited as extroverts.
5. Introverts will observe everything around them and notice all the details in the environment that trigger their feelings. Their focus is not just on someone Body.
6. Introverts actually have a lot of self-talk. They have a lot of ideas in their heads, but they won’t say them.
In fact, the so-called introversion and extroversion are not advantages and disadvantages. It's just a different temperament type. This is not a fault, but a different physiological characteristic.
02 Introverts have many advantages
Li Ka-shing once said: "I’m a shy person by nature, Introvert and don't like active conversation. "
Einstein once said: "Creative thinking is stimulated by the monotonous peaceful life and loneliness. ”
After investigation, someone found that 70% of writers, painters and creative talents are introverted personality.
So, introverted It’s not an obstacle to success, but sometimes it’s the cornerstone of success.
An American psychologist once did such an experiment:
He found two 6 Year-old boy, boy A is extroverted and lively, boy B is introverted and quiet. He takes the two children to the same room, sends them a puzzle piece, and tells them that whoever finishes the spell and walks out of the room is the winner. Reward.
In the beginning, the two boys took the puzzle seriously. Later, when a dog came into the room, boy A was immediately attracted by the puppy and started to stop and play with the puppy. Boy B still focused on the puzzle after looking at the puppy. Until completion. When Boy B finished the puzzle and walked out of the room, Boy A was still playing with the puppy, completely forgetting what he really wanted to do.
Introverts have many advantages, such as strong observation, rich imagination, and the ability to play alone for a long time; strong self-discipline; more focused and prefer to study; better at cooperation and easier to be caught Trust...
03 How to make introverted children develop better
How to make introverted children develop better?
1. Accept children and give them self-confidence and security
The author pointed out in "Mum is strong, children are excellent": The premise of children’s independence is self-confidence and security, so to a certain extent The stronger the attachment relationship between children and their parents when they were young, the better they will become independent in the future.
Psychologist Jung pointed out that inside and outsideThe biggest difference lies in the way people "get energy". Introversion is a rechargeable battery, which can only restore energy for oneself by being alone; extroversion is a solar battery, which restores energy for oneself through contact with the outside world.
Introverted children seek energy through their hearts. Therefore, it is especially important to give children unconditional love when they are young.
2. Do not label children
In psychology, there is a "label "Effect": When a person is labeled with a word name (such as timid/promising), he will manage his own impression and make his behavior consistent with the content of the label.
Don’t talk about words like "cowardly", "cowardly", and "promising" in front of your children. The behavior is increasingly consistent with the label.
3. Don’t change it forcibly
Don’t force your child to greet you, so that the child is in a group. If the child’s personality is introverted, the parents will become anxious and try to change the child’s personality.
I once had a friend who had an introverted daughter. Exercise the child, secretly report to the child dance competition.As a result, the child who had never had such an experience stood on the stage and looked at the people underneath. She was so frightened that she cried. The other children were dancing, and she stood still at a loss. After returning home, the child has been crying, and since then he is less talkative.
Introversion is not a defect. If parents correct it forcibly, children will become inferior.
Teacher Le Jia once said: Introversion is an innate personality characteristic of a person. It is not a defect, and there is no need to change it.
In "Quiet: Competitiveness of Introverts", the author said: Introversion is not a defect. The extraordinary talents of introverts can also do The world creates unlimited value.
In this fast and noisy society, knowing "slow" and "quiet" is also a kind of wisdom. Take care of your introverted little angels and let them be who they are. heWe make this world more exciting and more meaningful.