Spring savings Had a gathering of a few friends.
Talking about marriage,
A friend "tragically" concluded:
Married for seven or eight years,
The child is four or five years old ,
The relationship with her husband is getting weaker and weaker.
In addition to firewood, rice, oil and salt every day
Talk to the baby’s education,
Playing with mobile phones back to back...
Two or three friends express their approval.
Everyone unanimously asked me to introduce a marriage counselor.
Before suggesting marriage counseling,
Let me introduce you a small question and answer list first,
Help friends with similar problems
Bring your partner's spiritual distance closer.
Many couples will encounter a problem after getting married:
The content of the conversation is from the romantic sentiment before marriage,
It becomes more and more logical,
There is less and less romance.
It’s not about washing clothes or doing sanitation, it’s about what to eat tonight,
Rational conversation is of course a must in life.
But if the content of a couple’s conversation becomes more and more rational,
the emotional connection will become less and less.
Many people don’t even realize itp>
Changes in the content of the conversation between yourself and the other party.
If you find conversations with your partner
more and more logical,
but less sensual,
also feel you The inner distance is getting farther,
Start a conversation with these 10 questions,
It will allow you to get closer to each other again.
Before you start asking the other person,
Two things need to be done:
First point: p>
Set aside about 20 minutes for this conversation.
Turn off the TV,
Put your phone aside,
Choose a quiet and undisturbed space.
The second point:
Try to open up your emotions,
No matter what the other party answers,
Don't make any judgments,
Don't blame or ridicule.
Like a counselor,
Accept the other person completely.
You may also encounter a small accident:
These 10 questions can be asked and answered in only 20 minutes,
But each of them will lead you into a deeper conversation.
Your conversation may last for more than an hour or more.
The specific method
Question 1: What are the best and worst memories of your childhood?
By talking about your own positive childhood experiences
and negative and hurtful experiences,
You can better understand
What impact childhood experiences have on each other,
Why does the other party become the person they are now?
When you understand the events that have had the greatest impact on each other in the past,
You will be able to understand each other’s "three views" more clearly,
and what is the difference between you .
Question 2: What are the 3 things you most want me to do? How do you want me to satisfy you?
Let your partner be most satisfied with you,
The way you are most willing to be the closest to you,
is that you can meet each other’s needs.
When you are asked this question,
You need to think carefully,
In your relationship,
What makes you happy most,
You wish What does your partner do to meet your needs.
You want someone to remember your birthday,
especially your partner.
What do you want him to do for you on your birthday?
Order a bouquet of flowers,
Give a gift,
Be responsible for the whole day of housework,
I’ll go with you The restaurant you've always wanted to visit?
This question is not for you to meet each other’s expectations anytime, anywhere,
but you will know each other what the other person wants you to do,
and howWhat to do.
Don’t think you really know what to do for the other person,
Everyone’s needs will change over time.
Question 3: Among your friends and family, which couple do you think is the best? why?
Some people don’t know what their ideal couple relationship is.
But with a reference system,
They will be much clearer.
With a good example,
you know how to adjust.
In management, this method is called "benchmarking".
Question 4: What do you think is the greatest benefit of being with me?
This is A question that will change over time.
No one is born to be a husband and wife,
Couples "grow up" after marriage.
Together you Experience the challenges and happiness of being a "couple",
will have a new understanding of each other.
But many people will focus on the "bad" side of marriage.
This issue allows you to focus on the good side.
Question 5: What behaviors did I have that made you upset? What behavior do you most want me to stop, or what behavior do you want me to improve?
First focus on the positive aspects of marriage,
Look at the problem again,
This is a skill in the consultation process.
Spouses need to be open and honest with each other
not satisfied with each other’s behavior.
If you don’t face it frankly,
The two may have been passively confronting each other for many years because of these behaviors.
Small problems become big problems,
In the end, I will ignore what the other party did to make me unhappy,
I just remember the feeling of "unhappy" very clearly ,
The accumulation of discomfort will turn into resentment.
Some behaviors may just need to be spoken
The other party will notice,
Some may need special attention to change.
But I don’t know at all,
There is no possibility of change.
Question 6: Is there anything that makes you worry, anxious, or even to the level of insomnia, but you haven't told me?
It is common for partners to hide their anxiety from each other.
The purpose is just to not want the other party to worry
or not to increase the other party’s burden.
If the husband and wife do not know what pressure each other faces,
They will lose the opportunity to support each other,
and even misunderstand.
Human emotions will understand each otherstrong>
Growing with support.
Talk to your partner regularly about your current stress.
Question 7: Is there something you have always wanted to do, but haven't done it? What prevents you from doing these things?
Through this question to understand each other’s dreams,
Maybe you can give him/her the courage to realize the dream.
Understanding what prevented him from realizing these dreams,
Why didn't he try?
When you know his dream and the obstacles of his dream,
you may become his biggest supporter.
Question 8: What do you love me? When do you think you love me the most?
It’s easy to say "I love you" in 3 words,
But remember what qualities you are attracted to by the other person
The real skill of a relationship.
At different stages of life,
A person is attracted to the different characteristics of a partner,
The way they love each other will also change.
This question will not only make each other clear
Where you are appreciated by each other,
You will also feel loved by each other.
Maybe what your partner says,
will shake you deep inside.
You may not even think about it,
Your own characteristics will be profoundAttract each other.
Question 9: What do you think I do will make you unforgivable, why?
Maybe in your life you will hear each other say something like this:
If you cheat,
I will never forgive you.
If we dare to move our deposit,
I will definitely divorce you.
Although couples will show their bottom line,
But not many people talk in depth about why these things make them feel painful.
Know the behaviors that hurt each other the most,
You can better protect this relationship from harm.
Question 10: Do you think our sex life can get better? Where do you want us to improve?
Studies have found that
Sex life is one of the most vulnerable and vulnerable areas in intimate relationships.
When a spouse’s sexual needs are rejected,
will feel a certain degree of harm.
If you are always rejected,
There will be emotional problems.
If you want to improve your sex life,
One of the most important ways is to talk about it with your partner,
Focus on their needs and desires,
Don’t blame each other for doingWhat is wrong.
Under what circumstances are intimate relationships most vulnerable to damage?
When both of them only pay attention to the bad places,
when they take it for granted that the other person should know.
So from time to time to have in-depth discussions with each other,
Your relationship can get better and better.
Everyone fantasizes about a smooth sailing relationship, but there are always various gaps in the relationship. Once he was tenderly cared for, held in the palm of his hand, and spoiled as a princess; now he left cruelly, leaving you alone in loneliness and sadness. If you can't do anything to save your beloved, and are unwilling to miss your true love, or have any emotional or marital confusion, you can follow our official account: Emotional, senior emotional mentor will be happy to help you out of emotional crisis.