Text: Zheng Shaoyuan May my words warm you~
Many times, in our lives, there will always be things that make us sad and painful. . Some things will gradually fade with the passage of time, but some things are like bone gangrene, which always torment us, making us feel painful whenever we think of these things.
And there are some things, we know it is harmful to ourselves to continue, but for some reasons, we are always reluctant to give up. In the end, I could only sink deeper and deeper, and eventually hurt more.
Just like some people say: all the unhappiness of people is nothing more than can't see through, can't let go, can't think, can't forget. Because of this, many times we feel that life is unsatisfactory.
If people can see through, let go, think about, and forget, then they won’t have so much trouble. Life is happy and open-minded. This is actually the ultimate goal of everyone's practice.
And in marriage, many married people feel that their marriage is not happy, while others' marriages are very happy. This is actually because of the inability to see through; and knowing that the other person is not suitable for you, but still insisting on staying together, this is because of letting go; I feel that I am always so painful because I can’t think of it; I have lost love After that, you can’t start a new relationship because you can’t forget it.
Indecision is a shortcoming that almost everyone will have. In marriage, many people are too indecisive, which makes the marriage more and more painful. This is the kind of person who is constantly talking about it.
Especially women, because they are too emotional and cherish their efforts, so they know that the other half is not a beloved, but they have to persevere and let them hurt themselves until they can't bear it.
However, all she spent during this period was her own time. After wasting so much time, she ended up in exchange for such an outcome. This is because of the unforgettable consequences.
After a divorced woman experienced her marriage failure, she suddenly realized: In an adult marriage, the most important thing is to stop losses in time.
Amei is 32 years old this year and had a marriage of 5 years. In this marriage, she has always played the role of giver, hoping to move her husband and change the marriage. But in the end she didn't do it, instead she hurt herself all over. After the divorce, she regretted that she had wasted so many years with a wrong person.
Amei and her ex-husband Yu Bin can be said to be two different people. But by chance, they came together. But such a marriage is not a good thing for two people.
Amei and Yu Bin met through a blind date. At that time, Amei was 27 years old, which belonged to the category of leftover women in their hometown. Because of this, Mei's parents were very anxious, so they forced Mei to go on a blind date.
And Yu Bin was introduced by a friend of Amei's parents. At that time, he said that Yu Bin was in good condition, and then he was introduced to Amei.
Yu Bin is three years older than Amei, and thirty years old when he first met. Amei has been in contact with him several times and feels that Yu Bin is relatively honest, even a little introverted, and doesn't like talking. But he is considerate to himself.
Yu Bin works in a local state-owned enterprise. Amei is a teacher, and the two people’s family background can be regarded as a good match. After contacting Amei a few times, I think Yu Bin is okay. But she didn't have the feeling of liking, so her parents persuaded her that getting married is getting married, so what kind of feeling she wants to like. Two people have to spend their days steadfastly, and the water will flow.
Amei obeyed her parents, so she and Yu Bin got married within half a year.
There was no hindrance to getting married. Both parents agreed to the marriage and the wedding went smoothly.
The life after marriage is not as enthusiastic as expected, and the married life is very dull. Yu Bin is that kind of nonsensePeople who are often boring, he restricts himself to the circles he made, and refuses to come out. He has few friends and doesn't like socializing. He knows to play games when he gets home from get off work, which is his only hobby.
Amei feels that Yu Bin doesn't like herself, and she has no feelings for Bin. That's why marriage is so dull and tasteless. But she wants to change this situation. After all, a lifetime is so long, if it keeps like this, it won't drive people crazy.
So she tried hard to change Yu Bin, which was also one of her mistakes. Always thinking about changing the other half, but in the end it can only increase the contradiction. Yu Bin didn't want to change at all, he sneered at what Amei said. I think Amei is making trouble out of nowhere. I commute to and from get off work on time, and there are no friends, friends, and friends, and my salary is paid on time. What else do you want?
The couple began to quarrel. Yu Bin was very stubborn and would not take the initiative to apologize every time he quarreled. We have to wait until Amei takes the initiative to speak to him to break the cold war.
is boring, clingy, cold and violent, this is how Yu Bin feels to Amei.
In fact, if Amei can stop the loss in time and get divorced after less than a year of marriage, it will not be as miserable as it is now. But she didn't, she chose to be patient.
This forbearance is five years. In the past five years, almost all Amei's enthusiasm and effort has been exhausted. Yu Bin just remained unmoved. Even if two people raised their children, Yu Bin still went his own way, without any change. The couple are simply out of sync.
In the children's education, Yu Bin also started as a shopkeeper. Amei not only does housework, but also takes care of the children. It was a very tiring day to live, but there was no comfort in Yu Bin.
She finally got tired of such a married life, and also tired of Yu Bin, so she filed for divorce. Unexpectedly, Yu Bin still agreed nonchalantly.
Amei wanted to cry without tears, she persisted for so many years, but in exchange for such an ending. I knew that I should stop the loss in time, and I could not get hurt like this.
There is a law in economics called the crocodile effect: a crocodile bites your foot, if you try to free your foot with your hand, the crocodile will bite your foot and hand . The more you struggle, the more you get bitten. So, if the crocodile bites your foot, your only chance is to sacrifice a foot.
The same is true in adult marriages. If you find that the other party is really not suitable for you, you can't change the other party. Marriage is when you tortured each other. Then please do not hesitate to directly choose timely stop loss.
Because even if you persist, you will only torture yourself and the other person. It would be better to let each other go and find their own world.
In adult marriages, please weigh the pros and cons and stop the loss in time.