The recent TV series "Juvenile Pie" with the theme of the college entrance examination has resonated with many parents and children because the plot vividly restores the real family scene. Hotly discussed.
Wang Sheng played by Yan NiMale (mother), a 360-degree interpretation of the image of a mother who has broken her heart as a daughter. However, her daughter, who worked hard to "strictly discipline", did not become a sensible and well-behaved child, and even exhibited various rebellious behaviors.
After experiencing various life crises, the radical Wang Shengnan also learned to reflect and communicate with his daughter, and the contradictions between each other were resolved. As a new mother, she has also grown up, and finally passed the college entrance examination with her daughter and scored 534 points.
The plot that is too real in the plot has drawn the hearts of many parents.
For their children’s learning, parents want to give their children financially and spirituallythe best. But unknowingly, it went against the result he had imagined.
Looking at the children’s learning decline, serious academic deviation, character rebellion and many other problems, they finally feel exhausted because of nothing to do.
Parents can’t help asking themselves: "Why have I done so much and still haven’t made my child better?"
In fact, while we pay attention to children’s performance, we may have overlooked more important issues:
Growth The road is long
Need more patience
Many parents have entered into a misunderstanding: No matter what the grades are in the past, the grades will definitely go up.
The children’s grades in elementary school are very good, so let the children "freedom" ", as long as the test scores can meet the satisfactory standard.
However, in junior high school, the children’s grades can’t keep up, and the parents start to worry. They even attribute the reason to it. The teacher didn’t teach well and the children didn’t take lessons seriously.
Didn’t they learn well before?Why not now?
Isn’t the teacher taught well, can't do such a simple topic? !
You don’t learn well in junior high school. How will you go to high school and university? !
Don’t make excuses for yourself, you just don’t want to learn! !
If this is what the boss said to you, you may have quit your job a long time ago. But children can only accept the blame from their parents silently. After all, the scores on the test papers give them no reason to defend themselves.
Maybe you be patient, listen to your child’s thoughts and understand the real reason for the decline, and you can naturally find a solution.
In patiently educating this, Wu Zun is the one who did better.
He knows the personalities of the two children very well, so he patiently calms them under any circumstances, and communicates with them as if they were adults. If the child behaves well, he will not hesitate to encourage him.
A garden director once said: Every flower is a grass at first, as long as we keep Looking forward, using the right method, more patience and confidence, and believing: "Don't doubt that there is no place to find a place to return to spring, wait for a time to spend a meeting".
With love Wait patiently with wisdom, I believe we will definitely hear the sound of that beautiful flower opening.
So, don’t wait until the problem arises. Only pay attention to the child, and don’t overly criticize the child for not doing well enough.
Let your children grow up
Learning to be independent is more important
In "Youth School", Wang Shengnan, after experiencing all kinds of hardships in life, reflects on his wrong mentality in the past:
"In the beginning, our requirements for children were a healthy and ordinary People. I don’t know when we started, we asked for more and moreThe higher the appetite, the bigger and bigger the appetite month, so Longwangshu is not greedy. ”
The higher the expectations of the child, the higher the expected return and the more interference.
There are many parents who compete with their children for responsibilities that should belong to their children, including eating, sleeping, getting up on time, let alone doing homework.
In the long run, children are also happy to enjoy ready-made results, making themselves an irresponsible person, so that their parents can take care of everything for them.
The parents of this kind of family are like Wang Shengnan, hard work is not counted, but also thankless. They are both anxious and self-blaming, squeezing out every minute of their time and energy, and still feel that they are not enough.
However, the more they do, the more mistakes they make, and the more they feel guilty for their children. However, in this way, the child is invisibleSon declared: You are not qualified to bear anything.
In fact, you might as well tell yourself: "Stop it, do enough for your children."
On the road of growth, not only children are growing, but parents must also grow up with their children, and let them go when they should.
After all, in the future, the child will have to go alone. Some things must be experienced by the child himself, or even if he makes mistakes, before he can grow /strong>. At that time, you will find that the child is actually better than you think.
Improve children’s ability to resist stress
Provide help to children in time
University of Pennsylvania Psychology professor Angela Duckworth, after analyzing thousands of samples, came to the conclusion:
Determines whether a child can succeed in the future is not a beautiful appearance, social intelligence, Very high IQ, whileIt is tough character, tenacious perseverance, and ability to resist pressure and frustration.
Of course, to improve the child’s ability to withstand stress does not mean to deliberately let the child suffer.
In fact, the child’s poor ability to withstand stress is due to the problem that cannot be solved! For us adults, the same is true, the difficulty is not terrible, and even more terrifying is isolation.
Some children have some bad things at school, but they dare not tell their parents when they go home. Not only do they fail to help, but they also suffer criticism.
Such casesThere are many examples. In April, a 17-year-old boy in Shanghai committed suicide by jumping off a bridge. The reason was that the child had conflicts at school and was criticized by his mother.
We have no way of knowing how much grievance a 17-year-old child has endured that made him resolutely choose to die. But likeIf Mother Guo can listen to him and finish it, maybe she can save the tragedy.
"Hope for children to become dragons" and "Hope for girls to become phoenix" are the wishes of every parent. However, how many parents have devoted all their efforts to give their children the best education, but when their children need help, they pour a pot of cold water.
It is said that parents are the biggest backers of children. Our trust and help can help children through the hurdles of life, and children are also going through the dark A dawn of light.
Of course, the help we give should be appropriate and restrained. For children’s unprincipled requests, we must firmly say "no" .
With restraint and support, children can wear hard armor and meet the challenges of life.